New York, USA -On October 24th, 2060, at the 47th annual World Summit, the representations of the nations met at the UN Building to discuss major issues. While most of these discussions took place during the meetings, some more intimate forms of “negotiations” were later discovered on the third day of the Summit.
Alerted by strange noises sounding “like someone was in severe pain” coming from the janitorial closet, an American correspondent who wishes to remain anonymous chose to investigate. Opening the closet door however, the correspondent discovered not someone in pain, but two representatives, Mr. Alfred F. Jones of the United States of America and Mr. Ivan Braginski of the Russian Federations in a rather compromising position.
“They were all over each other” the correspondent later told The World News, “Like, seriously making out, tongues and all. I mean, both of them were half undressed already. The break hadn’t even been going on for five minutes and that closet was pretty far away from the meeting room! How fast do those two go!?”
Upon the discovery, however, the correspondent reported that the two personifications seemed far “too engaged”, and appeared not to noticed her. It wasn’t until half the world newspapers had realized the situation and hurried to the scene that Mr. Jones seemed to realize that Mr. Braginski and himself had lost their intimacy and quickly shoved Mr. Braginski off of him.
“Holy shit. Boss is gonna kill me.” Mr. Jones said before slamming the door on the face of the reporters.
“Um, well. The United States of America has, as you know, been trying to, um, well, improve foreign relationships” a troubled Mr. President said, “But I can assure you that this is not the normal manner in which we, ah, address such matter. Mr. Braginski is, um... a very, well, special case.
“Indeed, Mr. Braginski and Mr. Jones have an interesting relationship” the Prime Minister of Russia agreed, “It’s said that opposites attract, yes?”
Mr. Jones and Mr. Braginski offered no statements on the manner. Upon questioning by the press at the annual conference held after the World Summit, Mr. Jones seemed to become rather flustered and refused to answer. No reported volunteered to ask Mr. Braginski.
“They’ve like totally been all over each other since, like forever.” Mr. Łukasiewicz of Poland informed the press. “I mean, like seriously, you don’t wanna like go to bed with either of them. They totally cannot control their strength and, sweetie, let me tell you, those two are like, totally strong to the max. So, like, it hurts, you know? I think they’re like totally perfect for each other. There’s some totally strange chemistry going on between the two of them, like, totally strange to the max. I mean who threatens to start nuclear war with their lover? But anywho, the chemistry there, like, the only thing I’m totally surprised about is that they didn’t use their usual closet on the fifth floor. I mean, I think England and France might have, like-”
At this point, Mr. Łukasiewicz was pulled out of his seat and shoved over the table and off the stage by Mr. Kirkland of the United Kingdom.
“I’m terrible sorry” Mr. Kirkland apologized to Mr. Łukasiewicz and the reporters he had shoved Mr. Łukasiewicz onto, “I tripped.”
The reactions of the citizens of the nations have been rather varied, ranging from horrified to mildly amused.
“I guess this really does give a whole new meaning to “In Soviet Russia”” Mr. Doe, an intern at the UN building joked.
“I’ve got nothing against my nation being gay” one troubled American said, “But there is no fucking way in hell Russia tops America! I mean, c’mon. We’re the US of fucking A!”
Upon asked “who tops” both refused an answer. Mr. Bonnefoy of France as well as Mr. Honda of Japan, and Ms. Héderváry of Hungary, however, all offered detailed opinions on the manner that may be found on our website.
“I’ll say just one thing” Mr. Smith, an elderly janitor who has worked in the UN building for fifty years old the press. “This isn’t new. This is just the first time they’ve been caught.”
With that statement, the citizens of the world can’t help but wonder what other “closet” activities have been going on in the past years at the UN building.
(nonostante ammetto che la usuk ha un posticino speciale nel mio cuoricinoinoino)
